"Harry," said Dumbledore with a certain discontent flooding his voice like Voldermort's vomit. "I have something to tell you."

Harry, having just traipsed up the spiral staircase that he had become so familiar with over the previous years, now stood in Dumbledore's office, with a considerably more concerned look on his face. "Oh?" He uttered, his attempts to remain calm having all the success of Hagrid when it came to going unnoticed.

"Harry... I have something to tell you," repeated the Professor.

"I know," retorted Harry politely with a smile. "You already told me."

"Oh yes, so I did!" said the aging grumbly old man before Harry.

"So," continued Harry, with an air of impatience that Dumbledore had never seen in him before. "Are you actually going to tell me, or are we just going to stand here locked in what looks like a rather feeble, and equally as pointless, attempt at a battle of wits and words?"

"Well isn't that what most of the Harry Potter books are anyway?" Enquired a sneering voice from a shadow in the corner.

"Snape!" Shouted Harry. "I should have known."

"Yes, Potter, you should have. But, like your father, you were too stupid to even notice what was under your own nose."

At that moment, with a loud CRACK, two figures appeared in another, equally as shadowy, corner.

"This is STUPID!" Screamed Hermione at J K Rowling. "You can't apparate anywhere within the castle! You can't suddenly change the rules just because you made a few million out of us!"

"Oh yes I can," roared Ms. Rowling. "I can do ANYTHING I LIKE!" Suddenly, her face fell off with a loud 'schplat', and underneath was the recognisable, pale features of-

"GINNY!" Shouted everyone in unison, like a barbershop quartet.

"What are you doing here?" Concluded a bemused Harry.

"Oh y'know, this and that," she replied, with eyes so clearly hiding something that they may as well have been made from the same material as the Invisibility Cloak.

From a third shadowy corner, Harry heard what sounded like muffled groans, apparently coming from the wall. After a second, he noticed that the sounds were coming from a particularly grumpy old man in a portrait which seemed to have been separated from the rest. Harry could not hear exactly what he was saying, but heard snippets; "apparition... Study... Dressing up as JK... Never in my day..."

Then, as if out of place in his own office Dumbledore spoke; his tone was hard, and yet soft. Sort of like Ferrero Roche™ but with less nuts, thought Harry. "Attention, attention, fellow teachers and students. Hermione, Ginny, please leave. Professor Snape, Harry and I have some business to attend to," and with the air of beavers that had just been refused mates, the two girls slowly headed for the study door, not pausing to make eye contact with any of their fellow Hogwarters.

As the last of Harry's schoolfriends left, Dumbledore turned to Harry. "I have something to tell you, Harry."

Harry's eyes rolled. "I bloody know!"

Then, without really knowing why, (he later supposed it was a combination of his annoyance at Dumbledore and his constantly changing hormone levels) Harry strided across the Study and leapt into Professor Snape's arms.

"Just like your father, Harry," Snape started. "He was always..." His voice trailed, in a way not dissimilar to Hagrid, whenever he mentioned something he shouldn't have.

"Come again?" Harry enquired.

"Just like James! You even have the same pick up lines as him! I remember this one ti-"

"Severus, I think that is quite enough," Dumbledore began. "Harry will be traumatised enough when he leaves this room without any newly acquired knowledge of his father's incomprehensible sexual habits."

"Oh very well," retorted Snape with a sly smirk upon his grease-ridden face. "I shall be gone!" And with a swift movement, he floated out of the door, cape following obediently behind.

-end-

This was BOBBED @ 19:36
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